但是,这一夜发生的事让鲁比诺束手无策。他的督察员头衔没有赋予他任何战胜雷雨的力量,也无法帮助这个幽灵般的机组。说实在的,机组现在不是在为领准点奖而搏斗,而是为了逃脱唯一的惩罚,这种惩罚会使鲁比诺的处罚失去意义--死亡。
于是,眼下没有了用处的鲁比诺只好在办公室里踱步,无所事事。
法比安的妻子上门求见。她焦急难耐,来到秘书的办公室,等待里维埃的接见。秘书们偷偷地抬头看她的脸。她感到不好意思,害怕地看着四周。这儿的一切都不欢迎她。这些男人一个劲地在工作,仿佛只顾踏着一具尸体往前走,记载着人的生命和人间疾苦的资料只剩下冷冰冰的数字残渣。她找寻能告诉她法比安消息的迹象。家里的一切都显示他不在,床上的被子掀开一半,咖啡煮好了没有人喝,摆着的一束花开始枯萎……她没有看到显示他在家的东西。一切都与怜悯、友谊、记忆相悖。她听到的唯一的一句话(因为没有人在她面前抬高声音说话)是一个职员要清单时说的粗话:“……发电机的清单,见鬼!是我们发往桑托斯那批货的清单。”她抬头看着这个人,神情十分惊讶,然后又看了挂在墙上的地图。她的嘴唇有点儿颤抖,但几乎察觉不出来。
她揣测来这里遭到了敌视,几乎后悔自己来了。她真想躲起来。她害怕太过引人注目,所以拼命忍住咳嗽和哭泣。她发觉自己像是没有穿衣服一样别扭,很不体面。她感到很难堪。但是她太显眼了,引得那些躲躲闪闪的目光不厌其烦地往她脸上瞟。这个女人长得很漂亮,她向男人们展示着一个幸福的奇妙世界,同时也宣示,大家这样做,不知不觉地伤害的是何等神圣的东西。面对来自四面八方的目光,她闭上了眼睛。她要表明,人们无意中会把什么样的安宁毁掉。
里维埃接待了她。
她羞怯地来申诉理由,说摆放的鲜花已枯萎,煮好的咖啡没人喝,自己鲜嫩的肉体无人享用。在这间还要更冷的办公室里,她又一次感到嘴唇在颤动。她也发现,自己的道理在另一个世界无法表达。在她身上涌动的近乎野性的、如此的强烈的情欲,还有一片忠贞之心,到了这里像是换上了一副自私的可憎面孔。她直想逃跑。
“打扰您了……”
“夫人,”里维埃对她说,“您没有打扰我。遗憾的是,夫人,您和我除了等待以外,没有别的好办法。”
她微耸肩膀,里维埃马上懂得了她的意思:“我回去面对这盏灯、这顿做好的晚饭、这些花,又有什么用呢……”一位年轻的母亲有一天曾经向里维埃说出心里话:“我的孩子死了,我还没有明白过来是怎么回事。看见他用过的一件件小东西,比如我翻出的小衣服,是最令人难受的。晚上如果醒过来,心中依然涌起一股温情,但是这股温情和我的奶水一样今后派不上用场了……”对于这个女人也是如此,法比安的死也许明天刚刚开始,这样,到时他就会通过每一个失去意义的动作、每一件物件,慢慢地离开自己的家。里维埃把同情深深地埋在心里。
“夫人……”
少妇带着几乎卑谦的笑容退了出去,她不知道自己究竟有多重的分量。
里维埃坐了下来,心情有些沉重。
“可是她在帮助我发现我要找的东西……”
他心不在焉地轻轻拍打北方各中途站传来的安全措施的电报。他想:
“我们不要求永留青史,但不要出现行为和事物突然失去它们意义的情况。否则,我们周围的空虚就会显现……”
他的目光落在电报上,说:
“瞧,死神就是从这儿,从这些不再含有意义的信息里钻到我们中间的……”
他看着鲁比诺。这个平庸的小伙子,现在毫无用处,再也没有意义了。里维埃用几乎生硬的语气对他说:
“您的工作难道要我亲自给您分派吗?”
然后,里维埃推开通往秘书室的门。法比安的失踪已经通过明白无误的符号映入他的眼帘,但是,法比安夫人并不会看。法比安驾驶的R.B.903号飞机的卡片已经贴在墙上的飞行调度图中无法使用物资一栏。正在为这架欧洲航班准备材料的秘书们明知飞机将延误,工作起来懒懒散散。机场方面打来电话,询问有什么指令下达给无所事事的值班人员。生活的节拍放慢了。“要问什么是死,这就是死了!”里维埃想。他的工作就像一条在无风的海面上出了故障的帆船。
他听到了鲁比诺的声音:
“经理先生……他们结婚才六个星期……”
“干活去。”
里维埃始终看着秘书们,并越过秘书们看着工人、机械师、飞行员以及所有怀着建设者信念帮助他工作的人。他想到从前的那些小城,小城一听说有“岛屿”,就为自己造一艘船,来承载他们的希望,让人们能够看到他们的希望在大海上扬帆航行。有了这艘船,大家变得伟大,超越自我,得到解脱。“目的也许不能证明什么,但行动却能将人从死亡之中拯救出来。这些人也通过自己的船永垂千古。”
而当里维埃重新赋予电报充分的意义,让值班人员恢复紧张的工作,让飞行员飞往悲壮的目的地的时候;当生命就像海风重新吹动帆船一样再度使这一事业充满勃勃生机的时候,他也会与死神展开搏斗。
二十
科摩多罗·里瓦达维亚方面什么也听不到了。但是,二十分钟之后,在距离那儿一千公里以外的巴亚·布兰卡港却接收到第二份电报:
“正在下降,进入云层……”
接着,特雷利乌的无线电台又收到了几个意义不清的字:
“看见……什么也没有……”
无线电短波往往就是这样,那边收到了,这儿却跟聋子一样。接着,一切又无缘无故地改变了。这个方位不明的机组,在生者看来,已经身处时间和空间之外,而在无线电讯站的空白纸上,写字的都已是一些幽灵了。
汽油是否已经耗尽?或者飞行员遇到机械故障了,要打出最后一张牌,安全迫降?
这时,传来了布宜诺斯艾利斯方面向特雷利乌发出指令的声音:
“向他们把情况了解清楚。”
无线电监听站活像一座实验室,满屋子都是镍、铜和压力计,还有传输线管,值班人员穿着白大褂,默不作声,仿佛埋头做一个简单的实验。
他们用轻巧的手触摸仪器,探索出现磁场的太空。他们简直就像寻找金矿脉的魔法师。
“没有回答吗?”
“没有回答。”
他们或许会捕捉到这个意味着人还活着的音符。如果飞机飞到星星中间,飞机上的灯光还在亮,他们也许就能听到这颗星星在歌唱……
时间一分一秒地过去,真像鲜血一样流失。天上的飞机还在飞吗?每一秒钟都带走一分机会。唉,流逝的时间简直是要把机会断送,它花一两千年侵蚀一座庙宇,先磨耗花岗岩石,最后让庙宇化为尘土。如今,几个世纪的磨耗力量集中在每一秒钟,威胁着机组的安全。
每一秒钟都带走一些东西。
也带走法比安的声音,他的笑容和他的微笑。天地无声。无声世界越来越沉重,像大海一样压在机组身上。
这时,有人提醒道:
“一点四十分了。是汽油使用的最后极限,他们不可能再飞了。”
又是一片沉默。
大家的嘴唇上有股苦涩的感觉,很不是滋味,仿佛旅程结束时一样。已经发生了某件事情,但是大家一无所知,那是令人作呕的事情。身处这堆镍和铜管线路之间,大家感到一丝凄凉,就像站在一座工厂的废墟里一样。这些材料很压抑,没有用,丢弃了也不可惜,就像一堆枯树枝。
现在只好等待天亮了。
再过几个小时,阿根廷全境就会在阳光下显现。这些人呆在那儿,就像呆在海滩上,面朝渔网,拉呀拉,慢慢地拉,但是网着什么却不知道。
里维埃在办公室里感到精神一阵轻松。人的这种感觉只有在经过了大灾难,不再受命运的折磨之后才能体会到。他已经让人向全省各地的警方报了警。他再也无能为力了,只好等待。
但是,即使是在办丧事的人家也得有个秩序。里维埃向鲁比诺打了个手势:
“给北方各中途站拍发电报,内容如下:预计巴塔戈尼亚的邮政班机将长时间延误。为了不过多耽误欧洲邮政班机起飞,拟将巴塔戈尼亚的邮件交由下一班欧洲班机一并发运。”
他微微弯腰向前。但是,他一使劲便记起一件事来,这事还挺严重的啊!对了。可不要忘记了。他说:
“鲁比诺。”
“里维埃先生,什么事?”
“您起草一个通知,禁止飞行员让马达转速超过一千九百转,否则就是在糟蹋我的马达。”
“好的,里维埃先生。”
里维埃的身子更弯了。他需要安静,这比什么都重要。
“去吧,鲁比诺,好,老弟……”
在死亡的阴影面前的这种平等关系,使鲁比诺感到害怕。
二十一
鲁比诺现在在各个办公室里走来走去,心情忧郁。既然原定夜里两点起飞的邮政航班要推迟到白天出发,那么,公司生计就停顿下来了。紧绷着脸的职员还在值班,但值班也是白搭。北方各中途站的电报还能不断地收到,但是他们说的“晴天”、“月圆”、“无风”却给人一种不毛之地的印象,简直就是一片只有月亮和石头的荒漠。当鲁比诺翻阅(自己也不知道为什么翻阅)办公室主任正在准备的一份材料的时候,他瞥见他正站在自己的对面,带着尊敬而傲慢的神情等他把材料归还他,那样子好像在说:“您可以还给我,对吧,我还得……”下级的这种态度让督察员感到不快,但他一句话也不说,快快地把材料递了过去。他转过身仪态万方地坐下。“我本来应该把他打发走。”鲁比诺心想。于是,他怕失态,便走了几步,同时想着这场悲剧。这场悲剧会导致某项政策失势,所以鲁比诺要为双重祸事而伤心。
然后,他又想起那位关在办公室里曾经对他说过“我的老弟……”的里维埃的样子。人从来没有孤独无援到这步田地。鲁比诺顿起深深的恻隐之心,便在脑子里搜寻几句隐含同情和安慰的话。一种他认为很高尚的情感激励着他。于是他轻轻地敲门,但没有回答。他不敢敲得重一点,四周太静了。他推开门,里维埃在里面。鲁比诺平生
第一回以平等的身份走进他的办公室,有点儿像朋友,也有点儿像想象中冒着炮火找到了受伤的将军、护送他撤退并且在落泊中成为他的兄弟的一名中士。“不管发生什么情况,我永远和您在一起。”鲁比诺真想这么说。
里维埃一声不吭,低头看着自己的手。鲁比诺站在他跟前,却不敢张口说话。雄狮即使被制伏,也会把他吓坏。他酝酿着几句表忠心的话,但是,每次举目,看见的是这颗低垂的脑袋、这头灰白的头发和两片紧抿的嘴唇,他想他该忍受多大的痛苦啊!末了,他才打定主意说:
“经理先生……”
里维埃抬起头看着他。他刚陷人沉思中,想得很远,及至鲁比诺进来他才如梦初醒,也许还根本没有注意到他的出现。他做什么梦,心中有什么感受,服什么丧,谁也不知道,永远不知道。里维埃久久地望着鲁比诺,仿佛他是某件事的活证人。鲁比诺很不自在。里维埃越是看着鲁比诺,鲁比诺的脸就越红,并且,在里维埃看来,就更像是抱着感人但可惜是自发的好意,来这儿表明人的愚蠢。
鲁比诺慌乱起来。中士也好,将军也好,炮火也好,全都忘得一干二净了。有些事情是很难解释清楚的。里维埃一直盯着他。鲁比诺不由自主地调整了态度,将手从左边的口袋里抽出来。里维埃仍然看着他。鲁比诺感到十分不自在,却不知道何故。最后,他才说:
“我是来听您的指示的。”
里维埃掏出手表,简要地说:
“现在是两点。亚松森的邮政班机两点十分着陆。让欧洲邮政航班两点一刻起飞吧。”
于是,鲁比诺把这一惊人消息传播开了:夜航没有取消。他对办公室主任说:
“请您把材料送给我,我来检查一下。”
可是当办公室主任来到他跟前的时候,他却说:
“等一等。”
于是,办公室主任就等着。
二十二
亚松森的邮政航班报告马上着陆。
里维埃即使在情况最糟糕的时候,也每封电报必读,关注着飞机的安全航行。在一片惊慌失措中,飞机安全航行对他的信念是一种报答,是明证。这次飞行顺利,通过一封封电报,预告着千万次其他飞行也会顺利。“台风不是每天夜里都有的。”里维埃也在想:“路子一旦走出来,就会继续走下去。”
飞机飞过巴拉圭一个个中途站往下降,像是飞经一座鲜花盛开、别墅点点、湖光潋滟的可爱花园。飞机擦着旋风的边缘下滑,连一颗星星也没有遮住。九名乘客裹着旅行毯,前额像贴在摆满珠宝的橱窗上一样贴着舷窗往下看,因为阿根廷的一座座像星星一样的小城,夜里在群星淡淡的光照下,金光灿灿。飞行员坐在前舱,双手担负着人命关天的重担,眼睛睁得大大的,眼睛里面泻满了月光,活像一个牧羊人。布宜诺斯艾利斯已经出现在粉红的地平线上,城里的建筑不久也会像神奇的宝石一样大放异彩。报务员用手指摁出最后几份电报,仿佛他在天际快活地弹出的一支奏鸣曲的最后几个音符。里维埃懂得这些曲调。接着,他收起天线,伸了懒腰,打个哈欠,微笑着说:到了。
飞行员着陆后又见到了欧洲邮政航班的飞行员,他靠着飞机,双手插在口袋里。
“是你接着飞吗?”
“是的。”
“巴塔戈尼亚的飞机到达了吗?”
“不等了,已经失踪了。那边天气好吗?”
“好极了。法比安失踪了吗?”
这事他们很少谈论。他们之间有着深厚的情谊,他们无需用话语表达。
亚松森的邮包被转装到欧洲航班上。飞行员仍然一动不动,仰着头,身子靠在座舱上,望着星空。他感到身上滋生了一种无边的力量,并出现了强烈的快感。
“装完了?”一个声音问道,“那就发动吧!”
飞行员没有动。有人替他把发动机发动起来。飞行员就要透过靠着飞机的肩膀,感觉到飞机要活起来了。在听到那么多“飞……不飞……飞”的反复无常的消息后,现在他终于相信要出发了。他的嘴微微张开,牙齿在月光下闪亮,像一只年幼的猛兽。
“夜里要多加小心,嗯!”
他没有听到伙伴的忠告,双手仍然插在口袋里,仰头面对云朵、高山、鲜花和大海,无声地笑了起来。笑声虽然很轻,却传遍全身,仿佛微风吹过青草,让他整个人战栗起来。笑声虽然很轻,却比眼前的云朵、高山、鲜花和大海更有威力。
“你怎么啦?”
“里维埃这个笨蛋,他把我……他以为我害怕!”
二十三
一分钟之后,他就飞出布宜诺斯艾利斯。重新投入战斗的里维埃想听到他的声音,听到这声音诞生、咆哮并消失。这声音像一支向星星挺进的军队迈出的雄壮的脚步声。
里维埃交叉着双臂,从秘书中间穿过。他来到一扇窗前,停住脚步,侧耳细听,陷入深思。
如果他停掉哪怕一次飞行,夜航事业就会前功尽弃,处于下风的人明天就会攻击他。但是,他抢在弱者之前,夜里就放飞了这一个机组。
胜利……失败……这些字眼毫无意义。生活就是这个样子,但是正在酝酿以全新的面貌出现。一次胜利会削弱一个民族,一次失败却会唤醒另一个民族。里维埃遭遇的失败也许是一个契机,会把真正的胜利拉近。事情进展顺利,这才是最重要的。
五分钟后,无线电台将会向各中途站发出通知。在一万五千公里的航线上,生命的激情将会把所有的问题化解。
于是,里维埃迈开从容的步子,穿过秘书中间,回办公室工作。面对他严厉的目光,秘书们一个个都低下了头。大人物里维埃,战无不胜的里维埃,他的胜利扛得好沉重。
-完-
Night Flight
By Antoine De Saint-Exupery
Translated by Stewart Gilbert
First Printed in 1945
chapter one
Already, Beneath Him, Through the Golden Evening -
Already, beneath him, through the golden evening, the shadowed hills had dug their furrows and the plains grew luminous with long-enduring light. For in these lands the ground gives off this golden glow persistently, just as, even when winter goes, the whiteness of the snow persists.
Fabien, the pilot bringing the Patagonia air-mail from the far south to Buenos Aires, could mark night coming on by certain signs that called to mind the waters of a harbor - a calm expanse beneath, faintly rippled by the lazy clouds - and he seemed to be entering a vast anchorage, an immensity of blessedness.
Or else he might have fancied he was taking a quiet walk in the calm of evening, almost like a shepherd. The Patagonian shepherds move, unhurried, from one flock to another; and he, too, moved from one town to another, the shepherd of those little towns. Every two hours he met another of them, drinking at its riverside or browsing on its plain.
Sometimes, after a hundred miles of steppes as desolate as the sea, he encountered a lonely farm-house that seemed to be sailing backwards from him in a great prairie sea, with its freight of human lives; and he saluted with his wings this passing ship.
“San Julian in sight. In ten minutes we shall land.”
The wireless operator gave their position to all the stations on the line. From Magellan Strait to Buenos Aires the airports were strung out across fifteen hundred miles and more, but this one led toward the frontiers of night, just as in Africa the last conquered hamlet opens on to the unknown.
The wireless operator handed the pilot a slip of paper: “There are so many storms about that the discharges are fouling my ear-phones. Shall we stop the night at San Julian?”
Fabien smiled; the sky was calm as an aquarium and all the stations ahead were signaling, “Clear sky: no wind.”
“No, we'll go on.”
But the wireless operator was thinking: these storms had lodged themselves some??where or other, as worms do in a fruit; a fine night, but they would ruin it, and he loathed entering this shadow that was ripe to rotten??ness.
As he slowed down his engine for the San Julian landing, Fabien knew that he was tired. All that endeared his life to man was looming up to meet him; men's houses, friendly little cafes, trees under which they walk. He was like some conqueror who, in the aftermath of victory, bends down upon his territories and now perceives the humble happiness of men. A need came over Fabien to lay his weapons down and feel the aching burden of his limbs — for even our misfor??tunes are a part of our belongings — and to stay, a simple dweller here, watching from his window a scene that would never change. This tiny village, he could gladly have made friends with it; the choice once made, a man accepts the issue of his venture and can love the life. Like love, it hems him in. Fabien would have wished to live a long while here — here to possess his morsel of eternity. These little towns, where he lived an hour, their gardens girdled by old walls over which he passed, seemed something apart and everlasting. Now the village was rising to meet the plane, opening out toward him. And there, he mused, were friendliness and gentle girls, white napery spread in quiet homes; all that is slowly shaped toward eternity. The village streamed past beneath his wings, yield??ing the secrets of closed gardens that their walls no longer guarded. He landed; and now he knew that he had seen nothing at all, only a few men slowly moving amongst their stones. The village kept, by its mere immo??bility, the secret of its passions and withheld its kindly charm; for, to master that, he would have needed to give up an active life.
The ten minutes‘ halt was ended and Fabien resumed his flight. He glanced back toward San Julian; all he now could see was a cluster of lights, then stars, then twinkling star-dust that vanished, tempting him for the last time.
“I can't see the dials; I'll light up.”
He touched the switches, but the red light falling from the cockpit lamps upon the dial-hands was so diluted with the blue evening glow that they did not catch its color. When he passed his fingers before a bulb, they were hardly tinged at all.
“Too soon.”
But night was rising like a tawny smoke and already the valleys were brimming over with it. No longer were they distinguishable from the plains. The villages were lighting up, constellations that greeted each other across the dusk. And, at a touch of his finger, his flying-lights flashed back a greeting to them. The earth grew spangled with light-signals as each house lit its star, searching the vastness of the night as a lighthouse sweeps the sea. Now every place that sheltered human life was sparkling. And it rejoiced him to enter into this one night with a measured slowness, as into an anchorage.
He bent down into the cockpit; the lumi??nous dial-hands were beginning to show up. The pilot read their figures one by one; all was going well. He felt at ease up here, snugly ensconced. He passed his fingers along a steel rib and felt the stream of life that flowed in it; the metal did not vibrate, yet it was alive. The engine's five-hundred horse-power bred in its texture a very gentle current, fraying its ice-cold rind into a velvety bloom. Once again the pilot in full flight experienced neither giddiness nor any thrill; only the mys??tery of metal turned to living flesh.
So he had found his world again. 。 。 。 A few digs of his elbow, and he was quite at home. He tapped the dashboard, touched the contacts one by one, shifting his limbs a little, and, settling himself more solidly, felt for the best position whence to gage the faintest lurch of his five tons of metal, jostled by the heaving darkness. Groping with his fingers, he plug??ged in his emergency-lamp, let go of it, felt for it again, made sure it held; then lightly touched each switch, to be certain of finding it later, training his hands to function in a blind man's world. Now that his hands had learnt their role by heart, he ventured to turn on a lamp, making the cockpit bright with polished fittings and then, as on a submarine about to dive, watched his passage into night upon the dials only. Nothing shook or rattled, neither gyroscope nor altimeter flickered in the least, the engine was running smoothly; so now he relaxed his limbs a little, let his neck sink back into the leather padding and fell into the deeply meditative mood of flight, mellow with inexplicable hopes.
Now, a watchman from the heart of night, he learnt how night betrays man's presence, his voices, lights, and his unrest. That star down there in the shadows, alone; a lonely house. Yonder a fading star; that house is closing in upon its love. 。 。 。 Or on its lassi??tude. A house that has ceased to flash its signal to the world. Gathered round their lamp-lit table, those peasants do not know the measure of their hopes; they do not guess that their desire carries so far, out into the vastness of the night that hems them in. But Fabien has met it on his path, when, coming from a thousand miles away, he feels the heavy ground-swell raise his panting plane and let it sink, when he has crossed a dozen storms like lands at war, between them neutral tracts of moonlight, to reach at last those lights, one following the other — and knows himself a conqueror. They think, these peasants, that their lamp shines only for that little table; but, from fifty miles away, some one has felt the summons of their light, as though it were a desperate signal from some lonely island, flashed by shipwrecked men toward the sea.